Hello Fellow Yellow Mellow

Brows killing me.

2011-02-23T08:34:00.001-08:00

Should have shaved my head!

Noche Buena Thought!

2010-12-24T03:28:00.000-08:00

These times we sing and write about the meaning of our existence!

halukay baby

2010-12-20T08:32:00.001-08:00

Katagal narin pala.
rundown sa mga naganap:
- field na ako
- allergic ako sa manok at itlog
- doctor in the future? go!
- happiness
- nakapag Pulag narin sa wakas
- 21 and counting
- I'm anemic (shit dati low blood)
- I so love my parents
- swerte
- sweets are friends
Putik matatapos na ang taon at panibagong taon nanaman! Shite.
- skinny jeans is heart
- it's hippie year for me
- serving the masses would set me free
- hoping for the existential mode to be over
- had short spun crushes ( which is better than having no crush at all)
- America trip blast
- other blastness
Weird things do come your way. I can't wait to finish my undergraduate degree
to go and venture to a career that is unknown.

This list do goes on. I'll just fill it up after my reflection!

February 2, 2006

2010-11-19T07:17:00.000-08:00

Isya,

Sa Panahon ng recollection, magandang panahon para tipunin ang mga karanasan para higit na makilala ang sarili, ang kaibigan, ang lipunan at nais na patunguhan. Ang malapit na pagtatapos ng hayskul ay isang malaking pagsasangang-daan.

Ano ang gusto kong sabihin sa iyo sa araw ng iyong recollection?

Sa mga ikinatutuwa at hindi maitagong pagmamalaki-
Isa ang malalim na pandama o pag-unan para sa kapwa. Sa maraming pagkakataon mulsa sa iyong pagkabata, hindi iilang beses mo kaming pinag-isip ng nanay mo sa nakikita, naisulat at pagatatanong mo sa nasasaksihan sa paligid. Mainan na mapanatili at mapaunlad mo pa ito. Hindi nakakatakot iwanan ang mundo sa mga kagaya mong hindi naglulubay sa pagtatanong, kung bakit ganito ang kaayusan at ano mang maaring gawin at bahagi natin para mabago ito.

Hindi rin kami nababahala na baka masyado kang seryoso sa buhay, at napapalayo sa normal na takbo ng kabataan. Ang mahabang oras sa pananamit at pananalamin, ang kalat sa kwarto, mga pagtatanong at kwento ng crush, kaibigan at manliligaw, babad sa telepono, ang mga araw ng pananahimik, pagkabaot at di maispeling na pagkakataon. Nakakahinga kami ng nanay mong na walng dapat ipangamba.

Nakakataba ng puso ang kagustuhan at hangarin mong maging guro, sa kabila ng maraming posibleng tunguhin batay sa pinapakita mong kakayanan, makulit na pangungumbinsi (lalo na ng nanay ko) at nagdudumilat na katotohanan ng katayuan ng mga nagtuturo sa ating bayan. Wala nang ibang patunay na nauna kong nasabi kung hindi ang patuloy mong pananalig makaambag sa paghubog ng kamalayan ng kabataan.

Sa dinadaanan mong nagsasangang daan, asahan mong nandito lang kami ng nanay mo, sa ano mang mapusuan at mapagpasyahan mo ngayon at sa marami pang pagkakataon.

Saludo ako sa iyo Isya, kaibigan, kabahaginan, ka-pluma sa mga nais maisulat, ka-band sa mga nais pakinggan at pagnanais maging musikero, kapintig puso sa hangad na pagbabago at ikinagagalak/naming anak.

Tatay

2010-11-17T06:25:00.001-08:00

I do actually remember.
Here is to love and life. :)

Joe Satriani - Love Thing

2010-11-17T06:24:00.000-08:00

in doubt

2010-11-16T08:40:00.000-08:00

hindi ko alam kung pano magcomfort ng taong namatayan ng minamahal
ang aking kayahamikan ba ay sapat na upang bigyan ng magaan na pakiramdam
ang isang taong malungkot at nagdudusa.

hindi ko alam kung tama ba ang mga salitang bibgkasin upang kahit papaano
ay mapagaan ang loob na hindi parin tanggap ang pagkawala ng kanyang matalik
at minamahal na kaibigan.

hindi ko alam.

p(l)ush

2010-11-11T08:41:00.000-08:00

The last time I wrote something was two months ago on a Thursday. Amazing.
Last week I went into a gig which lasted 4 in the morning and I was completely dazed as I was walking home. So, I ran instead of walking I just ran. The downside of that night is that I have to mention your name to people you and I know. Still painful. Three years has passed and I am still here thinking and replaying moments and memories like it's on a loop.

"Grabe pare mahirap makipagbreak!" - sabi nila.
Totoo naman. Naiintindihan ko.

Kaya baka kaya nandito parin ako kasi di ko talaga nasabi yung gusto kong sabihin.

Buhay buhay nga naman. Bigyan mo naman ako ng pagkakataon na maging masama.
Hahaha. Insanity!

where I am...

2010-11-11T08:39:00.000-08:00

I am here trying my very best to be like you.

The wall flower party pooper.

2010-09-02T06:31:00.001-07:00

Days of end has come and I'm feeling like a shit.

Unknown characters

2010-08-26T04:33:00.000-07:00

My friendly unknown characters would be unfriendly anymore.

Questions?

2010-08-20T20:39:00.001-07:00

Why make movies like fight club that has messages that wants the destabilization of the system but making a film in itself is a confirmation to the society whose system it wants to end? Doesn't that make us a prisoner of the system all more? The movie and story clearly wants to destabilize the system that was put on replay but by resisting that system we replicate it even more thus continuing the structure that we are resisting in the first place?

"We're the middle children of history.... no purpose or place. We have no Great War, no Great Depression. Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives."
- Fight Club

Brain Wreck

2010-08-10T06:47:00.000-07:00

I have never done a mediocre paper until now!

2010-08-09T07:25:00.000-07:00

Must get back to writing my synthesis paper. Anthro your making my transition semester period difficult. Can't wait to get out of the classroom and be on the field.

Nostalgia

2010-08-09T07:24:00.000-07:00

Reading past entries makes me long for the memories of the past.

and in the end

2010-08-09T06:57:00.000-07:00

for that reason I can't forgive myself
the state I am in now is a consequence of the bad choices I've made.

Here I am and here I ceased to exist.

The Ultimate Challenge

2010-07-15T06:34:00.000-07:00

To attain the title of being the Quesadilla master - I must be able to eat at all restaurants that serve quesadilla. This is the ultimate quest to find the Philippines most delicious quesadilla. :)

For my stomach here is more cheese for you. I know you hate cheese but please exempt my quesadilla quest. It shall begin now.

So far the quesadillas that made my list are the following:

+Chocolate Kiss Quesadilla = Delicious but too oily
+Likha Diwa Quesadilla 2 variations
1. mushroom quesadilla - yummy yum yum
2. vegetable quesadilla - still have to try this one
+The Mexican Resto(Maginhawa) - generic but still tastes good.

For the next quesadilla adventures I must get the names of their putahe and the right names of the restaurants.

I haven't seen a page that has so many quesadilla words on it. Nice and makes me want to it one. Hahaha. That's all for now.

Dreaming of being the Quesadilla Master
-o)-

contemplating

2010-07-03T04:30:00.001-07:00

want to get a tattoo!
will or will not?

Distractions

2010-06-20T04:57:00.001-07:00

I need to write a paper due this midnight. Damn school!

Post Summer Vacation

2010-06-17T07:30:00.000-07:00

I wasn't sure if I was ever going to write again on this blog. After turning 21 yesterday and found myself staring at the screen of my laptop I decided to visit this site. School had already started again after a long vacation in some place where everything is served large, the ice tea's are not sweet at all, there are colas flavored cherry (sooo missing that), where the weather was cold, where you need a car to visit places, the home of the so called "stars," where half of my relatives reside, where I want to be right now and where the age 20 is not really legal.

I have anticipated so much the day that I turned 21 that I had continues heartburn and stomach ache before that oh so grand day. And when that day finally arrived all the anticipation crashed it was just like any other day in the life ISYA. I did enjoy the company of family and friends and the gracious supper at one of the restaurants that serve rated A salad! It's weird that physically nothing has changed except for the evident flab on my stomach. Emotionally I feel like old but not that old. As I think about the past years and all the things I have already went through what always comes out of my mind is that I grew up emotionally and mentally too fast. When I was 13 years old I was acting the age of a 25 year old person. And now that I am 21 the idea was to retreat and be someone I missed during that period of 13 to 21 years of age. I'm trying to have a super moment with myself everyday and I hope it gets more super as I gain more experiences with the days that pass by.

On a side note: I would like to profess my love and admiration to Bob Dylan. Girl from the North Country is really is a great song.

must

2010-03-10T06:21:00.000-08:00

must get me into check-up
I'm having this regular chest-pains and stomach ache.
woooh! what is happening to me?

Can there ever really be a just system?

2010-03-09T06:07:00.000-08:00

They say in small actions results into bigger actions and larger results. True enough the question hangs to my head with all the contributions people are doing in their own way could it really help change the system? Or is it just a superficial act? When you are able to educate people to segregate their wastes does this contribute to changing the system? Or it doesn't do anything the poor remains poor, the peasants remains landless, and women still experiences oppression and violence. I don't know the answer. Or this are all just principles abstract ideas that will remain abstract.

Hoping to save myself from this too much entanglement and confusion. Would I want to serve the country on my own way or will I commit myself to the organizations who says they are the ones changing the system.

But I sincerely believe on the small things done is and will always be equal to change of the system. Will I prove it I will but not today and not anytime soon. For now I will just continue thinking if I will make the right decision in my life. Take choice on what career would I take. So difficult and confusion continues to settle in my brain.

Will I ever be an instrument of change?

we want airy

2010-02-17T05:54:00.000-08:00

The feeling of I must start anew and leave everything in here behind is great that is why I'm having this second thoughts if I still want to keep you. There is the need to let go and start something fresh out of what i have right now. Create something different to the usual stuff I do with you. The need for room for new air to come is expanding. Maybe this is the time to bring our relationship to an end. Being attached to you for a long time doesn't bring out the best in me. But I promise to recall all the things we have done together, the things we have written and the past we have sculpted. Wish me the best and luck to have the strength to start something new.

goodbye for now and see you later. (ohhhh redundancy)

-o)-

getting the hang

2010-02-14T06:42:00.001-08:00

I am awfully tired these past few days and there are still many days ahead that concerns academic works and other stuff.
Pagod men pagod ako!

STYLUS TOUGH-6000 Specs

2010-02-14T06:42:00.000-08:00

STYLUS TOUGH-6000 Specs

is this worth it?
I need digi cam for the upcoming events.

thought of the day

2010-02-08T02:14:00.000-08:00

it is better to be alone than spend it with someone you are not happy with.

what if you named your child I?

2010-02-07T05:28:00.000-08:00

There is not that much blog that basically talks about the "I" and have a continuous story and not just by parts and segments of their "I" life.

Let us start a story that would capture the I in me. Let us start a project that would stop the I in interjecting every time it begins to ask for attention. The hope of the I that it may get what I and what the other I need in their life.

The I listens to you and wanted to speak the words that are coming out of your mind. There is nothing else the I wanted more than to be the I it always wanted to be.

There is nothing the I wanted more to say.

sudden urge to be out of here

2010-02-07T05:25:00.000-08:00

i wishy i'm not here
i wishy that i'm somewhere else far
i wishy the fog of Baguio touching my cheeks.

Dylanisque

2010-01-28T05:57:00.000-08:00

If ever I continued my B.A. in Language and Literature course I would have written a thesis regarding the songs of Bob Dylan.

i cease to tumblr

2010-01-24T05:10:00.000-08:00

I don't know what to do with my thesis right now.
I don't feel like writing at all.
I can't seem to draw anything out of my flushed out brain.
Not in the mood really to write stuff about thesis.

while I was supposed to be writing something for my thesis I ended up reading a book and surprise surprise I was able to finish it in just one whole day. Good thing I resorted to reading rather than playing that plants vs. zombies addicting game. And I took a 3 long hour nap that didn't really help in energizing my low intensity energy today. Woke up late, ate a small portion of food for breakfast, grab a book, ate lunch, wash the dishes, tried reading RRL's for thesis but that just made me more sleepy so decided to take a nap, forgot to set my alarm, sleep like I was dead, woke up continued reading the fiction book, stared at the empty sheet of microsoft 2000 not knowing where to start (thesis), continued and finished reading the book, ate supper, read a little portion of the RRL i need, and now I'm writing this down. Writing something about me not getting things done. I haven't reviewed for my three exams this week and I haven't prepared myself for the report I have. What the hell is happening to me?

sipag bumalik ka na sakin gusto na magaral at magsulat para sa thesis ko.
gusto ko na uli maging masipag!

gaaah 2

2010-01-18T06:58:00.000-08:00

My admiration continues
let me be your admirer forever
and let my love blossom for you
let it flow and wrap you with its
loveliness

gaaah.

2010-01-18T06:57:00.000-08:00

Love Sick

2010-01-18T06:56:00.000-08:00

I'm walkin' through streets that are dead
Walkin', walkin' with you in my head
My feet are so tired
My brain is so wired
And the clouds are weepin'.

Did I hear someone tell a lie?
Did I hear someone's distant cry?
I spoke like a child
You destroyed me with a smile
While I was sleepin'.

I'm sick of love that I'm in the thick of it
This kind of love, I'm so sick of it.

I see, I see lovers in the meadow
I see, I see silhouettes in the window
I'll watch them 'til they're gone
And they leave me hangin' on
To a shadow.

I'm sick of love, I hear the clock tick
This kind of love, ah, I'm love sick.

Sometimes the silence can be like thunder
Sometimes I wanna take to the road and plunder
Could you ever be true
I think of you
And I wonder.

I'm sick of love, I wish I'd never met you
I'm sick of love, I'm tryin' to forget you.

Just don't know what to do
I'd give anything to
Be with you.

-Bob Dylan song

will the universe take me away

2010-01-12T02:41:00.000-08:00

2010-01-12T02:36:00.000-08:00

I want to see an aurora.

2010-01-12T02:34:00.000-08:00

It's time to part ways.
I'm so sorry.

why?

2010-01-10T07:02:00.000-08:00

I now ask myself why I don't use tags at any blogging site I subscribe to.

woooh

2010-01-10T06:57:00.000-08:00

so when you search your name you'll find pieces of you all over the universe.

Y'all

2010-01-10T06:41:00.001-08:00

Can I not play loud music in my own house?

(yelling inside my brain)

is there a word Damnish?

2010-01-10T05:27:00.000-08:00

Mosquitoes

2010-01-10T05:12:00.000-08:00

they have morphed into insects who fly crazy
straight
zig zag
and then straight again
attack
wahaha
blood suckers
may araw din kayong mga lamok kayo.

2010-01-09T08:19:00.000-08:00

we may never know the reasons.

2010-01-07T06:23:00.000-08:00

Nagulat sa nabalitaan, di makaiyak sa gulat
ayaw tanggapin ang balita na sadyang ikaw ay wala na.
Masyadong maaga. Ngayon naiiyak na ako dahil lahat ng
nabasa ay siya ng patunay. Sagad at tumatagos. Sadyang
nalulungkot. Sadyang maaga.

Nalulungkot ako. Napakalalim na lungkot.

2009-12-31T16:46:00.000-08:00

huli pala itong calendar dito. New Year na eh 31 pa lang dito. Fine magpost uli ako bukas para 1 na talaga. Kaloko naman kasi eh!

1st January 2010

2009-12-31T16:35:00.000-08:00

New Year!

Panahon na ng pagbabago so baka isa ito sa mga baguhin ko.
Blogging pwede namang isulat na lang. You see!

Well, see you around.

so this is the new year.

2009-12-30T19:44:00.000-08:00

plainly said you no longer love me and you know it just breaks my heart.
no promises and forever.

2009-12-30T19:32:00.000-08:00

pasensya na sa mahaba kong post na half asleep ko ng ginagawa.

Just want to greet everyone who is alive and reading this vlog (kung meron man)a Happy New Year. Yes, bagong taon nanaman.

Blue moon NewYear (let me have one wish)

2009-12-30T05:59:00.000-08:00

They say pent-up emotions make you sick. I say it just adds weight to what you are feeling.

As I was walking alone in this one major road at an ungodly hour I keep thinking that it would have been better of I was not a living thing or for us people the "beingness". I wouldn't complain if I am only a ray of light or a sand. I'd rather be like that than feel all this emotions.

The coming New Years makes me lost literally and figuratively.

I dreamed of us touching hands.

Today I am tired of the day that has passed without any meaning at all. I am afraid of what I am thinking the thought I am thinking about me. I find no meaning to what I am doing and I find no meaning with all the breaths I am taking. I find no meaning at all.

This has been very sad and the bubble just burst because of favors that you don't want to do. if escapism wasn't branded as bad I'll go doing that every hour of the day but they say it is bad because you are trying to get away from the reality. Doesn't the world you have created out of escapism is already a reality in its own.
Then we ask what is reality? Yes, coming from the root world real? But what is real? The questions I hope they give an answer.

The feeling I am experiencing right now is exhausting and draining me.
What I would offer world? why does the I need to be called I? When people would say when using your I (your point of view) makes you vain and selfish. What even invent the word I when it is condemned by people who are trying really hard to unite a large group of people for equity and equality (if that ever is really achievable?

If I come back will take you me in under your wings? Will you welcome me home to your heart? Will I ever forgive you?

I am in a stupid mode or maybe there is no mode maybe its just plain stupidity.Let me have one wish

Down is what I am and I think this is the start of the rebellious mode. I wouldn't let those comments get in my way becuase I wouldn't get anything at all from them. Let them have the star becuase I like moons.

Trail of the thoughts towards the house I live in for 20 years

2009-12-27T07:51:00.000-08:00

just cannot finish reading my tumblr tonight I need sleep and rest after the gruesome traveling we did. Nice tumblr is in red line which only means that we are out oil and water. Needs to rescued?

It all changes and we are part of that change.

2009-12-27T06:59:00.000-08:00

How do we describe things that words cannot describe? Like for example the universe words are not enough to describe the wonders it shows us. All the colors and shapes just captivates you and makes you want to drown to its expansive space that seems to have no end. It would be amazing to be able to float freely and let the space take where ever you want to go. But that wouldn't be happening our body is not built for outer space.

It is such a wonder if we humans are really alone in this universe that never seems to end and expand as time goes by. As I was writing this my eyes began to drop and I have transported myself to this universe I think I can call my own.

We like possessing the thing around us. We took things to be able to define who we are. Give us the certainty that after all the years of living when we die there is something there for us giving us a different use. The question is do we really have any use? What is the use of our existence when the final definition our life would have is death. What does this rambling about got to do with the majestic universe? Precisely everything in this post is about the universe.

I now wonder what is the use of exploring too much things? Are we even built to carry out this capacity of knowledge we are acquiring? What are we really?
Oh the questions one asks when they face this undefined path they are prodding.

This is the active unconscious mind or perhaps the sub conscious mind of this wrecked little bastard. I wasted my time for almost 3 hours watching those horrible bloody movies. Literally there was blood everywhere and I just hated it. How can we think of those horrible things and being able to persecute them?

Oh you trail of thoughts. No, I am no longer disappointed and depressed with you erasing me on your memory but the truth is I shall say that I have a problem erasing you in mine. What do we do with all the memory I have of you? What do we do with you? That's the right question to ask. Dissect the mind and point out all the memories and just backspace them like nothing happened. Or maybe I should just call the Lacuna people to help me erase my memories of you and me and everything in between that me and you stuff. Maybe I should erase everything start a new life without me. That would be the fun fun fun things.

Whoah. I was able to write a piece that would probably go to a trash bin of your minds and recycled emotions. Bob Dylan is truly love and I positive that I do love him from this special bottom of my heart as if my heart has any sides, ups and bottom. What do we do to recall feelings that seem to have been lost? How do you retrieve them when they don't want to be retrieve.

There was this connection that I now wouldn't last long so let me get my scissors and be the first one to cut it off. But the truth is you were the one who cut is off and then burned it like it never existed. Talking about the existing stuff I remember this scene from Twilight: New Moon if that is the correct title of the movie, this is when Edward tells Bella to just fuck off and don't ever think about of him ever again. Great like its just easy doing that. Look at me I'm really trying hard to get you out of system but you have become a habitus that cannot be taken out easily. You are a disease that has infected me and you have been my world and I the moon revolve around you. You had me wrapped around your finger and I was blindly in love and truly in love at the same time.

Is inlove a one word or is in love a two word? I suck with my grammar i love it twisted and bended but I am super conscious with my spelling that I would check a dictionary to whatever word that boggles my mind with the spelling. words are genius they are the substitutes to the emotions and feelings that cannot be read? I do hope you get it? I am having my doubts will or will I not post my version of autobiography. This statement is a super duh for my version and autobiography just seems to be sisters or brothers.

It is nice to revisit things that happened to us. My shoulders are hurting me already that is because of the typing manner I have the little keyboard I have. Hunched back hurts and I cannot do anything about because the captain himself is injured and now it does end now and here. Good night night you will always be gorgeous like the day.

-o)-

Christmas Blast

2009-12-23T07:47:00.000-08:00

Lantern Parade masaya. Ako, Ikaw, Tayo ay isang Pamayanan.
H.S. Batch Christmas reunion masaya at alam ko na kung bakit ayoko ng alak dahil allergic ako sa kanya. After drinking a lot- pantal ang buong katawan ko.
Corregidor family trip yeah the best with panakot pa yan. Oo, duwag ako. Hahaha.
At ako ay nandito stuck parin sa lugar na ito at sa iyo.
Blast ba yun hindi pero sige blast narin.
Okie tulog na ako at goodnight sa ating lahat.

-----------------------------
Abandoned Love

I can hear the turning of the key
I've been deceived by the clown inside of me.
I thought that he was righteous but he's vain
Oh, something's a-telling me I wear the ball and chain.

My patron saint is a-fighting with a ghost
He's always off somewhere when I need him most.
The Spanish moon is rising on the hill
But my heart is a-tellin' me I love ya still.

I come back to the town from the flaming moon
I see you in the streets, I begin to swoon.
I love to see you dress before the mirror
Won't you let me in your room one time 'fore I finally disappear?

Everybody's wearing a disguise
To hide what they've got left behind their eyes.
But me, I can't cover what I am
Wherever the children go I'll follow them.

I march in the parade of liberty
But as long as I love you I'm not free.
How long must I suffer such abuse
Won't you let me see you smile one time before I turn you loose?

I've given up the game, I've got to leave,
The pot of gold is only make-believe.
The treasure can't be found by men who search
Whose gods are dead and whose queens are in the church.

We sat in an empty theater and we kissed,
I asked ya please to cross me off-a your list.
My head tells me it's time to make a change
But my heart is telling me I love ya but you're strange.

One more time at midnight, near the wall
Take off your heavy make-up and your shawl.
Won't you descend from the throne, from where you sit?
Let me feel your love one more time before I abandon it.

tadadadadan done.

2009-12-15T06:49:00.001-08:00

This was supposed to be a prelude to a great day (wed.)
Lost half of the blood of my body today.
Almost fainted and was shaking terribly.
I was stuttering and everything wasn't what it is supposed to be.
Thrilled, palpitations, flutters, disappointments and all the other feelings surmounting at that specific moment.
Regain composure pat myself on the back and walked away half dead and barely alive.
Redundancy on these pages are pretty clear and I'll never be me again.
The lost bloods are splattered all over and there is now way I will be able to solidify it again.
Coldness was captured by my body like like thermos trapping heats.
Now I offer myself to these pestering bloodsucking mosquitoes for I have nothing more to lose.

Today is tadadadadan done day.
Goodnight night and happy exams tomorrow.
Do your best and celebrate.

15 minutes before you.

2009-12-14T07:32:00.000-08:00

Okie need to need to finish my homework
because it is pass my bed time.
yes a twenty-year old like me have curfews which i had set myself.

I'm a lover of sleep and I love my dreams even if most of the time my dreams are horrible. The consolation i get from dreams i feel more alive in that world than this reality i am currently breathing in out this filthy air.
I can't seem to stop myself from writing. Is there such a thing addiction to writing?
That is totally brand new crazy.
The disease of writing.
The disease of reading.
The disease of sleeping.
I am all of that.

and for the next letters ajiyeteurhlhoiehflhflhefjelfhwsghf.
Goodnight night.
Goognight night. (sadya ito men)

2009-12-14T07:30:00.000-08:00

wishing i was getting better.
which i don't know if its fair for me to judge myself.

on second thoughts

2009-12-14T07:10:00.000-08:00

... I think it is better to keep the poems to myself for now because it needs polishing and re-arranging of words and rhymes.

I have completely resolved to myself to always bring papers, pens and pencils to be able to scribble down all the thoughts that comes to mind.

Write.
Jot.
Sketch.
Doodle.

whatever it may be it just needs to be on paper so I wouldn't forget.

To keep you hanging and for the thrill I'll be posting poems next time.

Now I need to go back making papers for academic purpose.

Like it? NO.

After you

2009-12-14T07:05:00.000-08:00

I was so inspired by the video clips that I have watched and this documentary about a great writer or poet I must say that I started writing my own poems. I try giving it a break maybe something good will come out of these delirious mind of mine. Sometimes it doesn't take practice at all. Sometimes it just takes pure talent which I don't have. So what to do? I'll still try and maybe be able to produce something good. Maybe I should start writing poems in Filipino. What do you think? I don't know!

I'm going to post the sample after posting this entry.

December sec entry

2009-12-09T04:58:00.000-08:00

Yikes first entry ko pala yun ngayong december.
Oi. Pasko na! Anong gusto mong regalo?

Ang weird pero di na ko nasasabaw ngayon. Oh days just like all the other days when I'm not with you. I no longer use words and expressions that just seem to lose its meaning when I lost you.

Madrama. Always naman.

Maligayang malamig na panahon sa ating lahat.
Ang Baguio ay masaya at maaliwalas akala ko na namiss ko siya ang Baguio pero hindi pala. Ganun lang talaga.

I making my life worthwhile. Ano pa nga ba ang worth eh plain flat naman talaga.
Ayan kailangan ko na talagang gawin ang aking assignment. Curse you thesis.

Was It Worth It

2009-12-09T04:41:00.000-08:00

Are you even worth re-blogging?

I just missed class today because I have this terrible headache and I had to assist my mom because she was really sick.

Back to work I have I have to finish a homework.

What ever happened?

2009-11-26T00:49:00.002-08:00

Where do we go from here? The massacre that happened in Maguindanao makes me question a lot. What ever happened? Are we really this hungry for power and position that we would kill people who are defenseless? I don't know what to feel. Reading the news just makes me cry and be angry to our damn society. Ruthless and undeniably evil. What do we do? What will I do? I don't this kind of event makes me feel more powerless and losses hope for the future of our country. Why kill at all? What did the killers got from what they did?

When we try so hard achieving peace and equity this blows into your face and then again we are all shattered.

We are really the culprit and agents of havoc ever to exist and walk on earth.

Again what do we do?

What ever happened?

2009-11-26T00:49:00.001-08:00

I'm no passive at all

2009-11-17T19:05:00.000-08:00

the title of the blog may have given you the idea that the author of this blog is just a mere passive person. Well I'm not a passive person and I'm not dying. The idea of passing here is someone who tries to experience everything that is around her and trying to create an experience of her own. I'm just clearing the passing "thing" which is not entirely equal to passivity.

-o)-

I'm going back to school.
See you later.

Consider this

2009-11-17T19:01:00.000-08:00

This coming 2010 election I'm going to vote for someone who clearly states their platform. Let us stop looking at the characteristic of the person it wouldn't take this country anywhere at all. Let us vote for someone who has practical visions that would improve the state of our country today.

RoygbiV

2009-11-16T04:00:00.000-08:00

It was around August of last last year we we're talking on the phone for hours. I was inside the bathroom of a fancy hotel and you were home. We talked for hours and talk of things that are out of this world. We are awake when half of the world is asleep. It was you and I existing at that very night. I remember it just like it was just yesterday. I miss you.

kalokohan near you always

2009-11-10T04:15:00.000-08:00

Natapos narin ang pag download ng mga bagay bagay.
Masaya naman talaga pag natapos na madowload ang mga bagay na gusto mong
madownload. meron akong mahigit na 4 hours na pagtambay sa eskwelahan dahil oo bungi ang aking sked para sa sem na ito. Sana dahil sa bungi kong sked ay magkaroon ako ng sipag na magbasa ng maraming libro para sa thesis namin. Para sa thesis namin. Para sa thesis namin. Okie ba yun? Hindi ko alam pero dapat oo.

Bakit ang dami nanamang lamok?
Dahil malapit na ang new moon?
okie syempre joke lang iyon.
Kung di mo gets okie lang kasi di ko rin gets.
pero sa totoo lang oo gets ko malamang bat ko naman sasabihin yun kung di ko gets di ba?

okie ang aking first day ay peste dahil sa aking headache
tingnan natin ang aking second day kung ayos ba. Sana ayos siya dahil seven ako magigising para lang sa subject na yun. After ko mag vow na di na ako kukuha ng seven am na class.
Okie yun lang share ko lang sa inyo.

errors

2009-11-08T10:25:00.001-08:00

i am so sleepy

and so they say

2009-11-08T10:21:00.001-08:00

Can't blame the weather for our losses.

I manage to have some stupid conversation

2009-11-08T10:17:00.000-08:00

*I'm just copying something that I written earlier. It was actually just seconds ago. i would just like to add that sandalwood do smell good.

Follow me because I am a fool. I have my mind on trends of being wrecked because of thinking about this and that. Today I had a great day because first of all the day was really beautiful. I just slack in our office designated area and got lost in the 90’s music (that I really love). I forgot how good the sound of 90’s was compared to the current music. Surf the web with other archaic things and I came across your Love Thing funny how things come around. The world is so great with recycling things. Then after eating brunch we watched a Bob Dylan movie slashed documentary “No Direction Home” and the whole time my heart was fluttering (kilig ako men).

It is just nice to be with your family who are all quirky and just makes you laugh. This is already a nice life. After those depressing days (which is just last week) I have completely recovered and will take things slowly and just enjoy it. You damn elective will pay up.

Strange I am still awake and trying to normally function even half of me is already asleep and dreaming of something strange. Pardon me, for borrowing some of your words miss Lisa Loeb. Yes, that was again a good hunt for me at You Tube. Just waiting it for to be attached. Last night I caught myself squishing our pets really hard. It hard to control it especially if they are extremely overly have this undeniable cuteness.

Wow, it almost end of the year. 09 just passed like Santi. It was fast and furious for me. Haha. No other words to describe the year I just experienced. But ironically in all my years in college last semester was the longest (that I have experienced). Super weird! Glad thatis over and done!

I’m gonna immersed myself into serious readings and writings because this semester is the thesis semester. Oh yeah! Super fun and challenging.

Death, Passing and being Reborn

2009-11-04T02:12:00.000-08:00

Calculating stuff.
Just need to stare at the blank page.
The words I and you was just written out
but it was never meant to be.

Cold damp weathers make you misty
Rainy nights make you cry
And nights just make you lonely.

when Death has become of me

2009-11-04T01:52:00.000-08:00

After just having a good evening last night. Today I receive a terrible news that nothing has been credited from my past major subjects to be an elective of my now current course. This day is a total fail and from this moment of I have succumb to the slow death that has come to me. I never knew that this will be the payment of some idiotic decisions that I have made. This is the result for the mad rush for love. I purely as of now condemn love. I'll try and focus on my study and I'll do my best to get it over and done because I'm not enjoying it anymore.

True when there is no passion for the things you do it is bound to fail. Things can be done but you are not happy at all.

So much for the regret Isya. It is never going to help you in attaining anything at all.

the brand new you

2009-11-03T05:08:00.000-08:00

to be somewhat kinda of techy.
hahahaha. bago ito men bago. wala pang five minutes ito men.
hahaha.

2009-10-31T09:23:00.000-07:00

whoah. 2008 must be really something!

ready you go!

2009-10-31T09:11:00.000-07:00

We could never really trust words like forever and infinity. Everything has its ends like your love and even my love. I was never sure if ever write the word love again. The word brings different memories of you and me. This is not really a proper essay. I begun formulating it in my mind after watching 500 Days of Summer and riding a jeepney from school. Maybe the cold weather has also contributed to the emptiness or fullness my heart feels. Essays of you would be a carefully thought essay regarding you. I doesn't matter whoever you I'm talking about.

my view of you again

2009-10-18T03:29:00.000-07:00

you just don't get my post most of the time because they are never meant to be understood by anyone but me.

Buy auto!

2009-10-13T08:21:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to finish my autobiography.
It gets harder to write autobiography as you grow older because well more things should be remembered. So write your autobiography while you're still young and your memory is as good brain enhancer.

Bitter moments tend to be no bitter anymore once they are written and told.
You just accept it as something very helpful. There is damning anymore. It is just pure acceptance and past.

It is good to look back once in a awhile see what you have accomplished and what is still needed to be accomplish.
Hay buhay ni Isya. I just wish that I wasn't here right now as of this moment.

when everything is not okay.

2009-10-11T02:05:00.000-07:00

i can't write my autobiography!

May Araw Din Kayo

2009-10-05T01:31:00.000-07:00

Maganda sana ang araw ko kahapon pero sinira ng apat na magkakaibigan na kumakain din sa kinainan namin kagabi. Masarap sa Mister Kebab kahit nung sobrang liit pa lang niya kainan kumakain na kami. Hindi ko lang maintindihan kung bakit pinapayagan ng mga establishment tulad nito na manigarilyo sa loob ng kainan. Ganoon ba ang mababawas sa kanila na mga customer kung ipagbabawal nila ito. Bilang maraming bata at matanda ang kumakain sa kanila sana meron man lang silang konsiderasyon sa mga costumer na tulad nila. Ang mas nakakasira pa ng araw ay ang apat na magkakaibigan na yun ay wala man lang pakiramdam na sila ay nakakaistorbo at nakakabanas na ng ibang tao. Kung maari ko pang sabihin sa ibang salita napaka walang hiya nila at napaka insensitive. Kung ang ugali ng lahat ng tao ay ganun napaka walang pagasa na nitong mundong ito. Dahil simpleng ganun lang napag-isip sa kapwa ay hindi na nila magawa.

Tanginumin niyo hindi kayo nakakatuwa at mamatay din kayo (kaya lang nangdadamay pa kayo). I do belivie in Karma at kung ano man makuha ko sa pagsusulat nitong piece na ito tatanggapin ko dahil nasa tamang lugar ako at lulubusin ko na ang galit ito ang para sa inyong apat at sa mga katulad niyo pa Fuck You Assholes! Hinayupak kayo! Lahat na ng badwords sa mundo sa inyo na!

too bad

2009-10-03T09:07:00.002-07:00

you always say i am good
but you only say that to emphasize that you are better

time changes everything

2009-10-03T09:07:00.001-07:00

at this very second i am me
and the next second i am different.

my view of you

2009-10-03T08:56:00.001-07:00

you are just 160
and nothing more

2009-09-21T04:48:00.000-07:00

we were fools pretending and competing with each other
we thought it was love but the truth it was really nothing
it was just a feeling to make us feel better but it was nothing.

not being able to take it back

2009-09-21T04:31:00.000-07:00

archives of moments and thoughts that just passed away

2009-09-21T04:28:00.000-07:00

Blogspots Bday!

Today I am totally bummed.
I have a lot of things to do but I can't find a way to start doing it.
This is a moment when I just want to do nothing.
But I become so restless of doing nothing at all.
Loser day.

ano nga ba ako?

2009-09-02T04:09:00.000-07:00

unang panalita ngayon.
gusto ko magsulat ng tula ngunit wala ng creative ang lumalabas sa aking utak sanhi at ito ng pagkalulong sa realidad at sa mga numero na laging laman ng utak.
gusto maging si isya muli na nakapagbabasa ng mga libro kung saan ako nakakatakas sa mundo na aking ginagalawan
gusto kong mawala sa ibang kalawakan na magbibigay sakin ng kakaibang karanasan.
gusto ko ito ngayon ang ginagawa ko dahil matagal tagal ko narin itong di nagagawa.
pangalawang panalita ngayon.
ako si isya pagod at gutom.
di na makapagisip kong anong gagawin na susunod
ito ang aking mga listahan ng gagawin
CD 126 proposal paper
PI 100 handout para sa report
SW 120 pag-aaral para sa nalalapit na exam
CD 122 Case Study
ako si isya. ngunit ano ako?
Bukas ako parin kaya ako kung ano ang mga naisulat ko ngayon?
Ako parin kaya si isya na kilala ko ngayon.
pangatlong panalita ngayon.

ito ay saglit lamang

2009-09-02T04:07:00.000-07:00

ang lahat ay ngyari sa isang saglit na di na na natanto ang gustong malaman.

This is my idea of heaven

2009-08-10T10:17:00.000-07:00

lying here with you....

Song song song in my head.

L

2009-07-29T08:04:00.000-07:00

Loser ang june isa lang post entry!

meeting the ends

2009-07-29T07:42:00.000-07:00

"flow sweetly hang heavy
you suddenly complete me"

Ang kinababaliwan na kanta ni Isya ngayon ay galing sa Yeah Yeah Yeahs na band.
Grabe at sobrang nakakapagod ang araw na ito merong naganap na di kanaisnais
ang di maayos na paghinga ay tunay na nakaabala sa aking pakikinig sa PI 100.
Kaya lost ako kanina sobrang init pa at naubusan ako ng tubig sa aking mahiwagang jug.
Sana it will magically refill itself. Sobrang gipit din ako sa pera na kinailangan ko pang
umutang ng isang daan sa aking kaibigan buti na lang at meron siyang perang pwedeng
ipautang sakin. Masayang masaya. Masarap ang dinner ko at syempre libre ng nanay ko

kaya wala ng problema dun. Napapansin ko na ang pagkatamad ko sa mga nakaraang araw dahil panay taxi na lang ang ginagawa ko sa buhay ko. Di na ako malusog. Sabi nga eh it's just a state of the mind. Huh? Ano raw. Ayun maligyang maligaya ang araw dahil napanood ko yung Last Supper No. 3 na nanalo ng best film sa cinemalaya (deserving ang film). Sabi ko nga sa aking FB entry ay nakakatawa, nakakalungkot, nakakaawa, totoo. Figure out niyo na lang kung ano ba yung pinagsasabi ko. Nararamdaman ko na di na talaga ako healthy wala narin ang naisusulat at naiguguhit na kung ano man. Creativity where are you? Come back to me. Wow, marami akong nasulat sa blog entry ko today.

Oo nga pala gusto ko lang sabihin na delusional na si GMA. Hindi na siya na sa tamang state of mind. Kung ano man yung definition ng tama. Unhealthy a siya kaya di niya mailead ang bansa natin sa tamang paraan. Ang kailangan natin ay isang baliw na kayang bumaliktad sa tradisyonal. Deviant ba na pang development talaga.

Medyo purgado na kasi ako sa development yan ang pinagaaralan namin sa CD pero lahat may kahalagahan at merong tunay na patutunguhan.

"Honest of being Dishonest"
nice ito ba yung nakasulat last time... di ko maalala check ko na lang.

Yoko na dumating bukas yoko makita ang result ng exam ko sa SW 120
kasi feeling ko bagsak lang yun. So goodluck na lang sakin at sa mga classmates ko na nagtake at nahirapan din. Di ako iiyak if ever na bumagsak pagbubutihin ko na alng sa susunod na exam.
"Bahala na?" Can be positive and negative at the same time.

Okie kumpleto na araw ko nakapagshare ako ng kung ano man sa digital world na blank.
Kung di ako nag mamake sense patawarin niyo na ako. Kung oo nice one.

-0)-
night night

Karumaldumal

2009-07-07T07:39:00.000-07:00

Ito ang ngyari gumagawa ka ng paper mo at sobrang kailangan mo na siyang matapos dahil sa kailangan mo lang talagang matapos kaya lang meron sa kapitbahay niyo na ayaw magpatigil sa pagkanta sa bidyoke. Grabe sobrang laki ng pressure. Ito yung potek night talaga. Kulang na ko sa tulog ng maraming oras. Sobrang daming oras. Garrr. Di ko na siya mababawi kasi sabi scientifically there is no such thing as nababawi ang tulog pag mas mahaba tulog mo. sa mga susunod na araw. Ayun sige susubukan ko ng tapusin paper ko with all disruptions from everywhere. Hahaha.
Okie.

-o)-

wishes

2009-07-06T19:24:00.000-07:00

please do erase me from your memory
I want to stare at you and not know who I am...

the things you should have said

2009-07-06T19:21:00.000-07:00

now I have come to realize the things that have been said were all excuses
should have just said the truth than making it all complicated
glad you found someone new to love

20

2009-06-24T05:59:00.000-07:00

Long time no write for any blog that I have. Well I suppose no one is really reading my blog that is why no one cares if I never really write again. Isya's imagination just died one year ago due to many reasons and I don't think it will be resurrected any time soon. Writing for the sake of wanting to share some things - it is my second day of school after being absent for 1 week due to viral infection of the lungs (thought it was already H1N1 pandemic). I contemplating in this empty house waiting for the strike of Feria (typhoon heading Metro Manila tonight). I have to finish reading sack of readings, do tons of assignment papers, and just be ready for my next class. I ate instant noodles for tonight because I'm too tired to prepare real food and I was really angry with our dogs. And the blabbering continues. Pardon me for writing too many letters and words but I just have to unload the stress the I am feeling right now. After writing this I will finish reading a chapter from Introduction to Social Work for tommorows recitation and then I will sleep until the heavy rain stops. Okie, this is the sharing moment for today. Goodnight night. Wait I haven't said the word nitytoity for a long time. It does mean that that word is already RIP. Hehehe. The heck. Okie have a nice night my dearest blog moon.
-o)-

Upset

2009-05-20T09:22:00.000-07:00

Why talk when no one listens?
Why talk when no one cares?

There are things that can really upset people. Like now I'm really upset because some people tend to put the blame on you. Making it look that every bad things happening is all your fault. The truth is they are just some trashy people who also makes mistakes like you (me in this matter.) By being upset I becoming someone I don't want to be. Being upset makes me want to tear down the person I see. I'm not perfect and you are not perfect so stop saying that is it all my fault. Bastard. I hate it when you try to be the good and be the role model one when you're not. And what did you do besides say harsh things to me -nothing you just sat there facing your shitty computer and making your ass fatter. I'm really mad and I just want to scream. Hmmm. I'm really mad. I don't deserve to be treated this way!

Looking

2009-05-08T04:20:00.000-07:00

Looking for Tomato Love Club

hear me

2009-05-08T04:17:00.000-07:00

Hear me scream your name and profess my love for you.
My dear Sun I still love you!

blogging again

2009-04-15T06:49:00.000-07:00

I have been busy the past few days that is why I haven't written a thing. I've been busy thinking of what to do this summer. Will I again waste it be bum or do something creative, educational and fun? I opt for the latter one and surprise I enrolled myself to a Math class (reasons because I wanted to graduate (badly) and I need to do a lot of things so no I wouldn't be thinking of pain and longing.) Yes the class started yesterday I would say that our teacher is interesting because he fits the stereotypical math teacher type. But the knowledge he has is very broad that you can't help listening. Our first day we tackled that how World War II was a battle of Mathematicians. Whoah! That is interesting! The only problem is that his voice is so soft that the students at the back (including me) could not decipher the words he is saying (listening intently wouldn't be enough). Still looking forward to other activities this summer and as a official of our college student council I duties to attend to. The plan that I presented during our campaign is to do segregation. That plan proposal should be attended too. A lot of things to do and think about and I bet there would be no space to be sad and lonely (I do hope so). Well I don't want to be writing about the I all the time that is why I'll stop now for now. Maybe next time I'll write something more relevant than the I in here.
Goodnight night.
-O)-

separation

2009-03-31T05:10:00.000-07:00

at the end of a relationship you always thought that it just ends that way
and nothing will bother you, you have nothing to think about and nothing to worry about.
separation easy word, easy to spell, easy to pronounce
yet hard to go through..... and not easily passable.
I got through the syndrome of post-separation
I still all the things I never thought I do ( with me without you).

Lagi kitang Naalala

2009-03-27T20:36:00.001-07:00

"Lagi Kitang Naaalala"

lyrics by: Levi Celerio

Lagi kitang naaalala
Kahit na pilitin kong limutin ka.
Nilimot na kita sa aking buhay
Ngunit pangarap din kita.

Habang ikaw ay nililimot
Ay lalong sumisidhi ang pag-irog.
Sa aking puso ay nakalarawan,
pag-ibig mo, hirang.

Kung tunay ang tanging pagmamahal
Ay di mapaparam
Habang nagdudulot ng pighati
Lalong di mapawi.

Lagi kitang naaalala
Kahit na pilitin kong limutin ka.
Sa aking puso ay nakalarawan
pag-ibig mo, lamang.

Pag-ibig ko'y laging ikaw.

Summer is near...

2009-03-20T02:30:00.001-07:00

Gaano kasaya mag MuL9...?

2009-03-20T02:24:00.000-07:00

masaya talagang kunin itong subject na ito
masaya dahil sa pwere sa marami kang malalaman tungkol
sa history ng Philippine Music ay meron ding hands-on.
Yeah. Hands-on na pag play ng mga instruments.
Ito yung mga panahon na iniisip mo sana meron akong talent
sana marunong ako kumanta at tsaka kung ano pang merong
kinalaman sa Music.

Kanina yung last day of class namin at nakagawiaan na after ng class
ay magkakaroon ng concert at nag karoon nga kami ng concert.
Ang programa ay sa Indigenous music up to popular music.
Meron sa mga kaklase ko na magagaling talaga
nang gugulat ng talent at meron namang iba na masaya lang mag perform!
Ayun. Marami pang dahilan kung bakit "totally masaya"....
Ito nga ang klase ko ng di ako masayadong napressure!
Pang-relax na subject!

I'm damn sure

2009-03-14T19:35:00.000-07:00

...that you are everything I want because you are everything I'm not!